Of Quotes and More

These are some of the popular quotes that we might hear from someone, or come across on social media, and they do have the potential to influence our opinions and perspectives. Here is my take on them:

Be grateful for what you do have, for others have it worse.

Well, yes, there is always going to be someone who has it worse, but that does not mean that your concerns are not valid. This is not a competition, wherein only the ‘winners’ are allowed to have feelings, feel their feelings or talk about them. If you have a bad day, you are allowed to express it without feeling guilty.

The purpose of practicing gratitude inherently differs. Gratitude helps us count our blessings, perhaps feel hope or relief and strengthens positive perspectives about our given circumstances. Maintaining a gratitude journal or acknowledging a few things you are grateful for is a helpful practice, and may even be recommended in therapy. Both can be true- you can have deep appreciation for what you have, and still feel bad about what bothers you.

Take me as I am, or watch me as I go.

We’re all for self love and accepting oneself for who we are. An important signal of healthy relationships is the ability to be yourself around them, without feeling criticized or judged. And surely, it would be better to remove yourself from situations where you are constantly asked to be something you do not want to be.

A word of caution about this quote however, is that it may indicate an unwillingness to grow or change even when it is healthy or necessary. It helps to be more flexible about our perspectives and consider alternatives as compared to being rigid and determined to stay exactly the same. An important distinction could be whether it is personal values or opinions that we are considering making changes to.

If they wanted to, they would have.

Yes, for the most part, if someone wanted to talk to someone, or put in effort in getting something they wanted, they would attempt to do so. However, it is important to remember that context matters too, and there are several internal and external factors that impact the decisions we make. For instance, experiencing fear or anxiety, fear of judgment, not having enough resources to do what they want, etc. among others. It can also help to remember that other people cannot read our minds, and if we want someone to do something in particular, we can communicate that.

How can you expect others to love you if you don't love yourself?

Even though something like this is well-meaning, it also indicates that we cannot and should not expect to be loved unless we learn how to love ourselves. The journey towards self-acceptance and self-love can be a difficult one, and we do not have to finish the walk alone to make ourselves worthy of being loved by others. We deserve to be loved even if we're struggling to love ourselves.

Disclaimer: This blog post is meant for awareness/entertainment purposes only. It is not medical advice and one must refrain from self-diagnosing. It is in no way a substitute for therapy with a mental health professional and it is not meant to be clinical. To consult with a psychotherapist on our team, you can contact us on fettle.counselling@gmail.com.