The Dark Side of Perfection

Perfection sure sounds like something to strive for, with qualities of being highly organized, meticulous, or paying close to all the details. If you are a perfectionist, it might be something that you pride yourself on (and mention in job interviews), and the compliments about your work and work ethic may sound very pleasant. However, it may come at a price.

Here are some reasons why chasing perfection may not be the best idea:

• It can be a thief of joy. Seeking perfection in everything we do could make any task feel like a huge responsibility. Higher the expectations, higher the pressure one feels while trying to meet them. And imagine the disappointment when the ‘ideal’ outcome, whatever that might be (hint: there may not even be one) is not reached.

• It can be associated with a strong need for control. We may try to control all aspects of the situation or our performance because we do not want to feel helpless or deal with uncertainty of things not going according to plan.

• It can be due to a fear of failure. We could be trying to achieve perfection because anything less than seems unacceptable to us. The thought of doing something wrong can be quite stressful for some, and this fear may govern our actions.

• It could be one of the reasons why we procrastinate. If we are too stressed about completing that project just right, we could delay starting it due to the fear of it not turning out perfect.

If you find this relatable, and want to gradually let go of the hold that perfection may have on you, here is what you can do instead:

• Make a conscious choice to participate in certain things because you wish to do so, or because you enjoy it, rather than perceiving things as a compulsion or a requirement that needs to be fulfilled.

• Focus on taking small steps to improve performance, or on putting in consistent effort towards your goal, rather than striving for an ideal outcome.

• Celebrate (or at least acknowledge) the effort that was put in and be compassionate towards yourself if the goal was not achieved.

Disclaimer: This blog post is meant for awareness/entertainment purposes only. It is not medical advice and one must refrain from self-diagnosing. It is in no way a substitute for therapy with a mental health professional and it is not meant to be clinical. To consult with a psychotherapist on our team, you can contact us on fettle.counselling@gmail.com.