Habits and Change

Why is it so difficult to change habits?

In the past 3 years of my life, I have developed the habit of reading before going to bed. What once started as something that helped me calm my mind from a stressful day has now become my habit regardless of whether my day was stressful or not. Like me, many of us have also developed some type of habit over time some of which have made our lives easier while others cause distress. It is the latter that makes us want to work on changing our habits, which leads us to the big question… Why is it so difficult to change habits?

To understand this, let's take a look at what happens to us when we form habits. Habits are formed when we perform a behaviour over time that is either learned by our experiences or by observing others, and most of the behaviours that we develop habits out of usually tend to have a reward or a feel-good factor towards the end. Over time a pattern is developed not only in our behaviour but also in our brain, as our brains' neural connections become stronger each time the behaviour is repeated, thus making the habit harder to break.

Another reason that makes it difficult to change habits can be associated with our memory. Out of the various types of memories, the procedural memory responsible for holding the memory of ‘how to cycle’ is also responsible for forming these habits.

But don’t worry, unlike the impossible task of teaching oneself to unlearn cycling, changing habits is something that we as humans are capable of doing.

What are some things that we can do to change our habits?

Taking small steps is what most of us skip doing when it comes to changing habits, rather we directly try to jump to the big goals, which then often leads to failure in the process of changing that particular habit in turn leading to disappointment, guilt, etc. Thus taking small steps towards changes that are measurable would help in slowly but surely reaching the desired goal.

Strategizing a change plan is also something that can be helpful when it comes to changing habits. Developing a plan of action makes it more clear to a person that they are serious about changing this habit and in turn motivates them to work on them. It would also help in identifying all the necessary tools and support that one needs, to facilitate this change.

Tracking your progress is crucial when it comes to changing habits as you are not only able to see minor accomplishments that would further motivate you but at the same time identify the areas of weakness and work on them.

Seeking social support. Changing one's habits can at times feel lonely as you are dealing with your struggles all by yourself. Thus finding someone to share your struggles and accomplishments with can play a huge role in helping you achieve your goal. However, there are times when you may not want to share this journey with family or friends due to various reasons, for those times seeking individual or group therapy could also help in getting that social support.

To conclude, now we know why it is so hard to change our habits, especially the ones that have been with us for a long time. But at the same time, we also know that it is possible to change them. Although it may take time and a firm commitment to let go of our old habits and change them to new healthy ones, with small steps, the right plan and some social support the journey to this change could become a more doable one.

Disclaimer: This blog post is meant for awareness/entertainment purposes only. It is not medical advice and one must refrain from self-diagnosing. It is in no way a substitute for therapy with a mental health professional and it is not meant to be clinical. To consult with a psychotherapist on our team, you can contact us on fettle.counselling@gmail.com.