Takeaway from a Winter Afternoon

On a sunny winter afternoon, as I sat in my balcony, one thing that caught my attention was a couple of pigeons trying to build a nest in the neighbourhood. The process was extremely intricate and intriguing to watch, which surfaced a couple of questions in my mind which also in return lead to a few takeaways as to how I looked at challenges and a general perception towards life and existence.

The group of pigeons was extremely perseverant towards the entire process, hence taking time to find little sticks and stones from everywhere around. Having a vision in place about what they wanted to build facilitated the process. My understanding of it was built through this about how even when you might have all the right equipments in place, there still might be an absolute need to have a vision about what we want the final picture to look like. As important as it is to put all the pieces of the puzzle in place, it is as important to have at least some understanding about what it would look like on completion. As perseverant you might be through the process, it can feel exhausting to be in the middle of nowhere and to not know the direction to put proceed in. Setting goals for oneself, in order to help yourself being consistent can make the process a little smoother.

As moving through the process, I saw the pigeons failing to put the sticks and stones together as they would fall each time there would be a new addition to structure, on constantly trying hard for a really long time, the pigeons finally decided to stop and take a break before proceeding in the process. This made me realise that in this fast paced life, where we’re constantly trying to prove our worth, sometimes it gets very easy to get lost in the race, to forget about what we want, get exhausted in the process and still not allowing ourself to take a break and blindly keep following what has been going on or is expected. As monotonous it can get, this also reduces productivity and can lead to early burn out. It is important to take breaks in life, as it helps you recharge yourself, gives time to re evaluate your goals in life, add a fresh perspective, find time to do things that you love to do and then getting getting back the race of life, more equipped than before.

While this break did last, the pigeons got together and seemed like they were trying to provide each other with some reassurance about things falling in place. As, human beings are known to be social animals, we know that it is important to seek out for support. In this era, that focuses on the individualistic culture, often we forget to lend and ask for a hand of support and certainly that's all that we need most of the times to feel better about the situation or hardship that we maybe in. Asking and providing each other with support can help build reassurance and can make one feel a little less isolated in the process.

Moving forward, when the pigeons again started to get back in the process, it felt like the place for where they decided to to build the nest wasn’t the right fit and they finally decided to shift the structure to a new place altogether, which was surprising to me, as they had moved really forward in that process. It did not take them a lot of time to build a fresh start and start over in the process. Thinking about it made me reflect upon how we get stuck in jobs, relationships, career etc. only because we have invested a lot of time in the same. It takes a lot of courage to come out of patterns that we’re familiar and comfortable with, even though it might be hindering our process of growth and becoming toxic to stay in. For a moment, I just thought about a fresh start not being all that bad altogether, of how just a little step can make such a difference in life, if we may decide to take it. Sometimes, you may be doing everything in your capacity to make things right, but it still might not work, as the factor stopping it from growing might be external. It is important to understand that everything is not directly linked to our own self-worth but a lot of what might also be happening in the environment. Internalizing and questioning your competence is the first thing that human beings get back to, while that might not be the case always, hence taking some time to reflect upon things can help make life a little easier.

My learnings in general from this observation just made me realize of how life is never going to be a straight line, but that’s what makes it what it is, so trying to cherish and enjoy the process while it lasts!

Disclaimer: This blog post is meant for awareness/entertainment purposes only. It is not medical advice and one must refrain from self-diagnosing. It is in no way a substitute for therapy with a mental health professional and it is not meant to be clinical. To consult with a psychotherapist on our team, you can contact us on fettle.counselling@gmail.com.