What Overthinkers Get Right (and Wrong)

"A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. It’s only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate." - Steven Pressfield 

Racing thoughts. Endless ‘what-if’ scenarios. 30 mental tabs open. Spiralling through thought branches. Loops that refuse to be closed. Overwhelm and stuckness. Exhaustion yet restlessness. Sounds familiar?

If you’ve come here, it’s very likely that either you are someone who overthinks or you know someone else who does. Given that this tendency to overthink is so common, there must be a reason why it happens- some function it intends to serve. Let’s take a look at a few perspectives that could explain the role overthinking hopelessly tries to play, and some blind spots that it misses.

1. Thinking feels productive. 

But does it really leave you with something useful?

Getting rid of thoughts is not possible, and even if it was, it wouldn’t be recommended because they’re integral to the process of making sense of our experiences and solving problems, for one. So thinking is always going to feel productive. The question we need to ask is what are you left with in your hands to show after an hour of thinking? 

Does it leave you feeling overwhelmed, lost and insecure; or does it bring clarity about yourself, others or the world? Do you feel equipped with an understanding about what could even be the smallest thing that you could change to start solving the problem at hand?

It’s important to distinguish between the thoughts that really help versus the ones that don’t, so that you can let the unproductive ones pass. 

2. Analyzing our experiences and situations is important. 

So is reflecting on our emotions. 

If thinking, and only thinking is the default way of processing for many of us. Unfortunately, that doesn’t cut it. We have more ways of reacting than just thinking- we feel emotions and body sensations in response to events all the time too. So making sure we are engaging enough with these aspects of our experience, providing them with the attention, understanding and presence they need from us is important too. They deserve it too. And when you slowly start getting attuned to them along with your thoughts, you’ll notice how the way you make sense of reality starts changing because of the additional feedback they provide. This is the first step towards reaching answers through processing that sit well not just with logic, but also with your heart. 

3. Assumptions help us prepare.

But sometimes we need presence along with preparation.

For instance, if you’re conscious about peoples’ opinions in a situation, you could make a hundred assumptions about what they may be thinking about you. Our mind jumps to assuming to prepare counters to any threatening situations, and this can be handy. But in some situations like the above one, when the threat hasn’t actually revealed itself but is assumed to be there, what we need is to soothe the fear of judgment. Staying present with the fear and any body sensations can make them feel seen and held, helping restore safety in the nervous system. Moreover, staying present with any past memories that could be activating the perception of threat also helps you make a distinction between the past and the present situation, which can allow you to respond to the present without the weight from the past. Of course, such presence needs to be practiced over time to be effectively accessed at such points, but such work is important especially when the preparation response has been well-practiced in contrast. 

4. Planning brings reassurance. 

Acting brings realizations. 

Overthinking usually feels heavy because it doesn’t seem to have a concrete end. For instance, if you’re feeling guilty about saying something hurtful to a friend and you’re overthinking about it ever since, staying in the space of planning a perfect apology can feel comfortable because of the reassurance associated with the ‘perfect’ label, and because you get to put a difficult conversation off. Nonetheless the chaos in your head feels unpleasant. Here’s where actions can help break the loop as they allow you to test your plan and see if it’s heading in the right direction. In this situation, reaching out this friend before it’s too late and apologizing as per your half-constructed plan, in a way that feels natural and intuitive for the moment can take off the weight from your chest and can help you realize that making heartfelt amends when you feel guilty, even when they’re imperfect can save the situation from worsening, in a way that just planning couldn’t have saved.

5. Control and certainty are desirable. 

But their lack need not always be threatening.

We have an evolutionary tendency to find comfort in control and certainty because they make survival much smoother. Hence, lacking control and certainty in a particular situation can make it seem threatening. This, combined with another tendency of our mind to fill out any gaps it perceives makes us chase the missing control and certainty; increasing overthinking about how this problem can be solved. At such points, acceptance for what’s uncertain and beyond our control can free up our thoughts so that they can focus on creating safety through whatever’s feasible. Moreover, taking an emotional risk of letting go of the missing control can allow us to gauge just how threatening the situation really was, and the extent to which we could be resilient and survive it- bolstering our confidence for future uncertain and uncontrollable situations. 

6. The more you talk to yourself, the closer you’ll get to yourself- if you’re curious, honest and compassionate.

Our thoughts are the most common way in which we witness our inner dialogue. And this self talk helps you develop a relationship with yourself. And like all relationships, this one needs nurturance way more than criticism to blossom.  

So the next time you’re overthinking, consider any one of the other perspectives and try to shift one small aspect of your thought process. Remember, if your mind has been wired into overthinking by years of your past experiences, it will take time to restructure your thoughts. But every small shift counts, because that’s you building new neural connections. 

References: 

Ainsworth, B., Bolderston, H., & Garner, M. (2017). Testing the differential effects of acceptance and attention-based psychological interventions on intrusive thoughts and worry. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 91, 72–77. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.01.012 

Ehring, T. (2021). Thinking too much: rumination and psychopathology. World Psychiatry, 20(3), 441–442. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20910

Flaherty, A., Katz, D., Chosak, A., Henry, M. E., Trinh, N. H., Waldinger, R. J., & Cohen, J. N. (2022). Treatment of Overthinking: A Multidisciplinary Approach to Rumination and Obsession Spectrum. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 83(4). https://doi.org/10.4088/jcp.21ct14543 

Hilt, L. M., & Pollak, S. D. (2012). Getting out of rumination: comparison of three brief interventions in a sample of youth. Journal of abnormal child psychology, 40(7), 1157–1165. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-012-9638-3 

Rood, L., Roelofs, J., Bögels, S. M., & Arntz, A. (2012). The effects of experimentally induced rumination, positive reappraisal, acceptance, and distancing when thinking about a stressful event on affect states in adolescents. Journal of abnormal child psychology, 40(1), 73-84. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-011-9544-0 

Sansone, R. A., & Sansone, L. A. (2012). Rumination: relationships with physical health. Innovations in clinical neuroscience, 9(2), 29–34.

Disclaimer: This blog post is meant for awareness/entertainment purposes only. It is not medical advice and one must refrain from self-diagnosing. It is in no way a substitute for therapy with a mental health professional and it is not meant to be clinical. To consult with a psychotherapist on our team, you can contact us on fettle.counselling@gmail.com.