Navigating the Quarter-Life Crisis: Through an Existential Lens

“When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.” 

- Viktor Frankl

At some point in your 20s or early 30s, you may find yourself staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., asking, “Is this really it?” You’ve done all the “right” things, graduated, started working, maybe even moved out; but instead of feeling free, you feel stuck. If this sounds familiar, you might be in the thick of what’s popularly known as the quarter-life crisis.

Though the word “crisis” suggests chaos or breakdown, what you're really experiencing could be the quiet beginnings of an awakening. As existential therapist Viktor Frankl would put it, this phase often signals not a breakdown, but a search for meaning.

Why Does This Happen?

The quarter-life crisis often sneaks in during moments of transition. The structure and expectations that guided you through school or college are gone. You’re now faced with choices, real ones, and it’s terrifying, like moving from a train on the tracks to a ship in the ocean. Comparison with peers, fear of making the wrong decision, or feeling like an “imposter” are all common. There’s also a cultural myth that by the age of 25, you should have it all figured out. Spoiler: most people don’t.

This disorientation isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a sign that you’re beginning to think for yourself.

What Can You Do About It?

From an existential therapy perspective, discomfort often arises when we’re disconnected from our values, purpose, or authenticity. Here are some gentle ways to navigate this season:

1. Ask Better Questions

Instead of “What should I be doing?”, try “What matters most to me?” or “What am I avoiding?” Frankl believed that we are not free from conditions, but we are free to choose how we respond. Begin there.

2. Take Responsibility Without Self-Blame

Existential therapy emphasises freedom and responsibility. This doesn’t mean blaming yourself for everything, but rather acknowledging the power you have in shaping your own direction, even in small, imperfect ways.

3. Make Room for Doubt

Uncertainty is part of growth. Instead of forcing clarity, allow yourself to linger in the questions. Yalom calls this “existential anxiety”, and it’s often the first step toward deeper self-awareness.

4. Reconnect With What Feels Alive

Notice what energises you even slightly. A conversation, a cause, a kind of work, or simply time in nature. Follow those sparks. They’re clues.

5. Talk to Someone

You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s a trusted friend or a counsellor, sharing your thoughts can help you hear yourself more clearly.

Thus, to conclude…

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a problem to be solved, but a process to be lived. Beneath the confusion is a quiet, inner call, inviting you to take ownership of your life, not just survive it. You’re not behind. You’re just beginning.

References

Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s Search for Meaning (Beacon Press ed.). Beacon Press.

Yalom, I. D. (1980). Existential Psychotherapy. Basic Books.

van Deurzen, E. (2012). Existential Counselling and Psychotherapy in Practice (2nd ed.). SAGE Publications.

Disclaimer: This blog post is meant for awareness/entertainment purposes only. It is not medical advice and one must refrain from self-diagnosing. It is in no way a substitute for therapy with a mental health professional and it is not meant to be clinical. To consult with a psychotherapist on our team, you can contact us on fettle.counselling@gmail.com.