The Importance of Unlearning and Relearning

It’s possible that we form opinions and stick to these opinions for the major part of our life, unless compelled to reconsider or change them. It could also be the pressure we feel to defend the perspectives we have publicly held for the longest time, due to the fear of appearing hypocritical. It can block our ability to think critically, consider differing objectives, and make informed choices.

There are several factors that influence our opinions, what we know, what we consider to be the correct way of being, and these factors may help determine what we believe about the world. We may have formed opinions based on what we have observed or learnt from our parents or caregivers, teachers, religious scripts, cultural norms and traditions, government policies, movies, and social media as well. Often, some of these opinions are not very useful, and could be causing harm to ourselves or others.

Our ideas about productivity, success, usefulness, goodness, respectfulness, what the role of a man or a woman should be, how friendships and relationships work- we could be conditioned to believe several things about several such concepts based on what we have seen in our families, culture, or media. These ideas have the potential of impacting our sense of self, if we find ourselves not meeting the ideal standard. And, being unable to accept or tolerate it if others deviate from these standards.

This is when the processes of unlearning and relearning become essential. For our own personal growth, it is immensely helpful to reflect on things that we may have accepted as the correct way of being.

Unlearning is the process of questioning our beliefs, it helps us reconsider our ideas, challenge some assumptions that we may have and be open to different perspectives. We become more flexible and acceptive when we are open to unlearning and relearning. Relearning involves learning some things in different ways, considering novel approaches, getting new experiences after engaging more with information.

Even if it's done unknowingly, being inflexible and rigid can make us have high expectations from ourselves and others, thereby impacting our self-esteem and our relationships negatively. It can be useful to unlearn aspects of ‘hustle culture’ or ‘cancel culture’ that may be causing a lot of pressure to perform a certain way. It can help to unlearn ideas of how everyone should get married and have children to be considered ‘settled’ in life.

Relearning and adjusting our ideas to incorporate what works for us within our given context, taking into account our capacities, resources, wants and needs can help in taking the pressure off and in developing more balanced perspectives.

Disclaimer: This blog post is meant for awareness/entertainment purposes only. It is not medical advice and one must refrain from self-diagnosing. It is in no way a substitute for therapy with a mental health professional and it is not meant to be clinical. To consult with a psychotherapist on our team, you can contact us on fettle.counselling@gmail.com.